Hi everyone ... hope everyone is having a good week ... I needed to take a break from my e-book boyfriend(s) and figured I'd post something lol no idea how this post will go as have no idea what will blog about lol
likely will be pretty uninteresting but hey never know I may unintentionally blog something that might be at the least entertaining or give someone a chuckle or two ... possibly by sharing my past/issues might help someone who is dealing with idk difficult situation(s) ... of course might also prove that I am not the least normal let alone sane individual lol I'm fairly sure I've actually blogged here and there about some of the really dark situations went through in the past ...
I have to say I didn't realize the jump in the number of individuals following me ... it's a mystery likely will never solve lol a little idk flattering ...
What to blog about .... well, I mentioned my son has deployed, that all prior medical issues have been addressed and all is well, all healed up and that I am finally putting my me project in motion lol venturing out of my comfy cave ...
started going to the Y - I am really out of shape lol joined a water walking class and surprise lol wasn't a walk in the park for me that's how out of shape I am lol I go Thursday to a wellness orientation - from what I understand are assigned to one of the personal trainers to tour the facilities and explain the various machines etc. and recommend what to use to reach my goals want to achieve ... need to rejoin the water aerobics class held M-F 10-11am (yep it will be a challenge since need to change my vampire hours lol) ... there is also an adult aqua fitness one in evenings to consider (I hate driving at night so my friend Joette (Jo) will be dragging me there after she gets off work lol ...
Since the cataract surgeries I can see a little better to drive at night but the main reason I avoid leaving my apartment in the evenings is because it's smarter/safer to stay indoors - there are frequent shootings etc. well get the idea I hope ... for those who don't already know, I had to move into income based housing i.e. public housing ...
try not to judge or stereotype those who do live there ... I will admit when one does so just like in the shelters - you adjust yourself and your personality to fit in with your environment/situation ...
anyway I hope to keep a forward momentum and not back slide lol especially since I promised my son I'd get out there and get a life - not just exist anymore lol and I hate disappointing him ...
Far as AFF ... been messaging with a few individuals for a bit ... moved up to texting via my phone ... at some point if they stick around and don't ghost will actually talk a few times via phone if I don't get any bad vibes - like if come across as maybe idk clingy type or seem to be approaching the coffee meetup with high expectations ... sorry likely making little sense ... just trust me I look for the red flags - prior experience on this site (in my 50's) gives me some idea what person might be like - idk like really overly eager about meeting tends to spook me lol ...
oh I discovered a new function can use thanks to my son lol can actually send a voice message instead of just texting lol think it's going to be a favorite thing to do instead of just texting (get to hear what someone's voice sounds like lol and yes get to hear mine as well lol)
Here's the thing ... I did the let the naughty side out to play lol no interest going the hookup, casual sexual encounters type of thing ... was not at all what had thought would be - didn't totally suck but nothing like had expected ... not a waste of time and effort since learned alot about myself so was at least a learning experience ....
My dilemma is that not sure what I want this time ... know what I don't want - cold meaningless casual encounters are nt of interest to me ...
lol far as a serious relationship goes I'm not sure about having an actual relationship - feel I would be a terrible girlfriend - most likely would need alot of patience and be able to deal with when I likely would do things to keep you from getting too close, to do things to see what would do, how react etc. lol I am no longer an other oriented kind of person - I'm way more selfish now - I value my independence and am used to not having to answer to anyone - do what I want when I want ... and no drama ..don't need to dread coming home ...
well hope get the idea what I'm trying to say (considering I basically am clueless as to what I'm trying to say) ... I'm sure can see I have some issues lol I will never let someone abuse me emotionally or physically, to have control over me or be helpless/trapped ... good news is I' somehow managed to not turn into a cold hearted bitch lol I do still try to give people the benefit of the doubt - until they give me a reason to doubt ... used to be like a three strikes you are out - now it's more like one strike and done and gone lol oh and I don't chase anyone or pretend I'm someone I'm not ... you either like me or you don't lol I am for most part a nice, caring and fun person ...
So not sure how to explain what would want or expect to find by meeting anyone .... idk maybe hope to meet someone who takes the time and effort to build a friendship, like minded - seeking a partner in crime ...
idk is causal dating something I might be interested in? what are the expectations regarding casual dating or dating ?nsa ... and what are the expectations of idk NSA dating?, or FWB ... pretty sure my expectations differ from what others may think they mean ...
Okay, think I've rambled on enough lol if you have any advice or want to comment feel free to do so ... constructive criticism is welcome ...
If you actually took the time to read this short story type of post ... and by this point haven't run for the hills lol - thank you xo now back to fantasy land and my hunky hot e-book boyfriends lol
take care everyone - and hang in there - the weekend is fast approaching for all you worker bees ...
xo debi
sorry if I duplicate anything
4 comments
Seems you have quite a few good goals and are pursuing some great activities that you like. Also, I find it great that you make your needs and desires a priority, and that you're careful when choosing friends. I'm glad for you. Keep going! Have an excellent Wednesday! 💕🔥
Thanks - I appreciate you taking time to comment ...hope have a good day ... xo debi